Weather Control

Aha! My decades of experiments with weather control are finally coming to term. It's been a difficult set of highly scientific processes and procedures, requiring super-feline concentration and mental abilities far and away beyond those of a normal cat, not to mention those of a paltry human being.

The truth be told, my intricate weather device has been built for years, and I’ve simply been fine tuning it, working to perfect my control over the elements. Why, you ask? Simple! He who controls the weather controls the world! Once my project is complete, I can start to drive the masses south, closer to the equator, forcing you puny human beings into closer proximity to each other, and thus making it easier to destroy you all. Even over the past few years, more and more of you have been moving south. To be fair, though, those pesky Canuckistanians in the far north are proving to be far more resilient than my initial scenarios took into consideration. Thus far, they’ve been reluctant to move en-mass, though some of their males do seem to be attempting to infiltrate the US via courtship and marriage. Something will have to be done about them, eventually. More extreme measures are being considered.

In any case, the biggest test of my device has proven successful. I’ve managed to cover a decent portion of the Midwest with the hated white substance humans refer to as “snow”. Treacherous roads, cold, ice, it all adds up to make the humans lives miserable. Of course, the downside is that the terrible weather I inflict causes my jailer to spend more time in the domicile with me, which is countless kinds of terrible. Ah well, though. Such things must be endured for the greater cause.